After trauma is over, “It ended!” is a powerful healing tool to convince the body that the emergency is over. What happens when the trauma, or similar threats, are ongoing? Fearing a boss or leader who resembles the unpredictable, vindictive, bullying, sexually abusive head of household from childhood. Grieving the latest person pulled over and… Read More
Articles
Presence After Trauma: Introduction
Presence After Trauma: Reconcile with Your Self and the World is a non-judgmental companion for your healing process after the initial crisis is over. Years into your healing work, you might feel that you have largely come back to yourself, and at the same time wonder why you still have trauma-related problems. Or, you might… Read More
Protect Your Irritated Nervous System
Your nervous system interprets sensations and enables actions. It contains the brain and spinal cord, as well as a branching network of nerves throughout the body. Your nervous system constantly transmits electrical and biochemical signals back and forth between your brain and the rest of your body. Physical irritation is defined as inflammation or pain… Read More
Prefer Narratives with Hope
In her presentation for Write/Speak/Code 2016, Naomi Ceder describes how our narrative about a situation controls the options we have. When she was young, the narrative she saw about trans people was one of sickness, wrongness, and absence of hope. The only way to transition was to renounce contact with all current family and community…. Read More
Trust Yourself Despite Everyday Gaslighting
Intentional gaslighting, the overtly abusive kind, can be more intense and severe, but everyday gaslighting is more insidious, permeating our social environment and sneaking inside our heads. “I’d like a late afternoon appointment.” The dentist receptionist responds, “How about 10am on Thursday.” “No, I’d like a late afternoon appointment.” “How about 1pm next Tuesday.” I… Read More
When I Started
Written for the anthology We Have Come Far: Shared wisdom from survivors of extreme trauma edited by Ani Rose Whaleswan, 2014. When I started healing from abuse, I was a grad student. After many years in school, I knew all about graduation requirements, prerequisites, and homework assignments. I tackled the project with youthful enthusiasm. Surely,… Read More
The Puzzle Box of Shame
We are born needing physical and emotional contact to thrive. In addition to food and shelter, we need soothing touch and attuned mirroring to develop an emotionally stable self. We learn to trust our place in the world when we are welcomed with delight. If the adults around us do not provide soothing touch and… Read More
Heal Around the Edges
As you may remember from getting scraped knees as a child, physical wounds heal from the outside in, at the borders with healthy tissue, where they receive the resources needed to rebuild. Trauma heals that way, too. Somatic Experiencing techniques help us navigate the border between traumatic memory and present time. When we have access… Read More
The Betrayal of Not Being Heard
Society tells us in a lot of subtle and overt ways not to talk about abuse. It is uncomfortable to hear. There is no easy response. It challenges the dominant narrative that abuse only happens far away, to “them”, not “us.” Need to be heard At the same time, there is internal pressure to talk… Read More
Not Alone with Your ACEs
The ACE Study looks at the correlation between ACEs, or Adverse Childhood Experiences, and health. Between 1995 and 1997, 17,000 middle-income, college-educated adults with access to good health care in the US joined the study. They had a standardized physical exam and filled out a confidential survey with questions about childhood maltreatment and family dysfunction,… Read More