A person walking on a beach notices many stranded starfish. She sees someone bending to toss starfish back in the ocean one at a time and says, “Throwing back a few won’t make any difference.” As the person throws another starfish into the water, they say, “It makes a difference to this one!” – brief… Read More
Wider Narratives
Nestle Into Uncertainty
In June 2021, the United States government added a new national holiday: Juneteenth. The holiday commemorates federal troops landing in Galveston, Texas on June 19, 1865 to enforce Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation issued two and a half years before. The Civil War had ended two and a half months before. We are usually told that the… Read More
Embodying Hope: Introduction
Embodying Hope: Living in Difficult Times with a Difficult Past offers you respite and replenishment, support and affirmation in these hard times. You did all this personal healing work so you could have a happier life, and now look! We have ongoing white supremacy and climate change, manifesting as destructive leaders, militarized police, escalating wildfires,… Read More
Prefer Narratives with Hope, Updated
In her presentation for Write/Speak/Code 2016, Naomi Ceder (@naomiceder) describes how our narrative about a situation controls the options we have. When she was young, the narrative she saw about trans people was one of sickness, wrongness, and absence of hope. The only way to transition was to renounce contact with all current family and… Read More
The “Good Person” Badge
Thanks to each of you for pausing for a moment, putting down your struggle, taking a breath, and hearing that you are okay just as you are right now. Thanks to each of you who leaves behind the numbing blanket of denial to explore your individual history of abuse and trauma. Thank you for stepping… Read More
Loosen Inner Deadlock
As we navigate life’s choices, we usually reach a decision by a combination of checking inside ourselves, researching options, asking others for advice, and flipping a coin. Sometimes none of that works and we find ourselves deadlocked, unable to settle on a resolution. An inner deadlock can be an intense battle, with constant internal arguments,… Read More
Good Enough for Mistakes
How do you respond when you make a mistake? Do you take it in stride? Crumple in shame? Panic? What we count as a mistake and how we respond depends on our current resources as well as how mistakes were treated as we grew up. Inexperience Children naturally make a lot of mistakes. As we… Read More
Consider Additional Truths
Ideally, as we grow up we learn to balance consideration for others with consideration for ourselves. We see the adults around us treating others and themselves with care. We experience being treated with care. We are directly taught to lift our attention from our immediate concerns to include the concerns of the people around us…. Read More
Practice Kind Language
Content Note: Ableist language used as negative examples. As we walked along, my friend tripped over a raised bit of sidewalk. “Pick up your feet!” she scolded herself. I could imagine her four-year-old self being dragged by the hand as her mother scolded her in exactly those words a half-century earlier. Oppression by default We… Read More
Offer a Collaborative Story
Jacinta realized she was angry about not being heard. She said to her friend Reya, “I’m mad about our translation project. I still think this idiom isn’t quite right.” Reya said flatly, “I disagree.” Jacinta took a deep breath and tried again. “I really appreciate that you did this translation. Your technical Spanish is much… Read More