Emergencies are loud, intense, exciting, chaotic. They demand our full, focused attention. When survival is at stake, there is no time for rest, repair, or pause for thought. The body goes into debt for energy, sleep, and nutrients, planning to make it up after the emergency is over. Ongoing emergency The essence of Post-Traumatic Stress… Read More
Articles
Unhook from Projection
Beatrice’s reaction to hearing, “You’re controlling!” depends on her beliefs and assumptions. If she believes that controlling people are abusive and bad, she will react defensively, at least in the privacy of her mind. “I am not!” “No, you are!” “I don’t like you.” “If you think I’m controlling, there’s something wrong with me.” On… Read More
Let Your Jaw Speak
Your avenue of expression includes your jaw, tongue, throat, and the surrounding muscles and bones that support you in making sound to communicate your thoughts and emotions. Physical movement in your avenue of expression creates sound. Immobility is silent. Essential gateway The mouth is a gateway to breath, nourishment, verbal expression, sensing taste and texture,… Read More
Relax For Your Life
Content Note: brief child rape example. Have you held a small child recently? Supported by trusted arms, small children rest with their whole weight, warmly present and relaxed. Over time, many of us lose the ability to relax into support, some gradually, some violently. During assault When a rapist commands, “Relax!” the assaulted child understands… Read More
Listen to Defensiveness
Like a heavy shield, defensiveness has its uses, and can also get in our way. Defensiveness can protect emotional wounds left by trauma and abuse. At the same time, it blocks out the rest of the world. In conversations, defensiveness prevents connection and communication. While we quickly notice defensiveness in others, we are slower to… Read More
Interrupt Bullying
Bullying is repeated, aggressive acts in the context of a power imbalance. When we can name bullying, interrupt it, and hold perpetrators responsible for their behaviors, we can reduce pain and create a kinder environment for everyone. Repeated If we can stop a source of pain without other losses, the problem stops. A single hurtful… Read More
Truth Across Lines of Authority
Monique deflected the young white woman’s hand away from her afro and rolled her eyes. She was here to enjoy the party with her friends, not be treated like an exotic object. Just yesterday she stood uncomfortably still while her older white male coworker patted her head in passing. Have you had the experience of… Read More
Effects of Sexual Assault
Reading about sexual assault can be painful for survivors. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or dissociated, give yourself kind permission to take a break and do something you enjoy. This article describes effects of sexual assault, not assaults themselves. Responses to sexual assault range from severe trauma to shrugging it off. If you have… Read More
Achieve Approval
Trauma interrupts life’s narrative and bends its trajectory, challenging the illusion that our choices control every outcome. Mainstream society responds with victim-blaming, “You must have done something to cause it,” and continues with isolation and disapproval. “You don’t fit in well enough.” Instead of compassion, survivors receive subtle or overt messages about not measuring up,… Read More
Sensitivity Survival Tips
Everyone is sensitive to physical and emotional toxins at some level. Some people start out nearly impervious, while others are sensitive to microscopic amounts. When body and spirit are subjected to repeated or extreme trauma, we lose the ability to absorb further insults. The nervous system becomes reactive to smaller amounts of toxins, and interprets… Read More