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A lot of narratives about healing focus on change. We take on goals to change how we handle the past and the present, change our circumstances, identify what is broken and fix it. Many of us believe that we are fundamentally not good enough, and if we yell at ourselves a lot, we might eventually… Read More

Acute trauma forces sudden, overwhelming, drastic change on the body. It is natural to expect that some equally drastic treatment can undo the change and restore health. Chronic trauma can be an accumulation of sudden blows, or a long-term lack of essential nurturing and care. Unlike trauma, healing is slow, gentle, and incremental. Healing from… Read More

Leaving a long-term practitioner is a skill, one we do not get a chance to practice much and probably did not learn growing up. We might learn the polite, “I don’t think this is a good fit,” while we decline to reschedule with someone we saw once or twice, but it is harder to know… Read More

Unresolved trauma acts like an internal abrasive, leaving a survivor’s nervous system feeling raw. After trauma ruptures both emotional and physical boundaries, we feel exposed and endangered. Each change in the environment has to be evaluated as a possible threat. Healing practitioners can provide a calm refuge for overwhelmed survivors by offering a stable container… Read More

While survivors of childhood abuse are often wary of receiving help, we also long for rescue. Dreams of rescue Children growing up in abusive or neglectful homes dream of their “real” parents sweeping in and scooping them up, or running away and finding a better home somewhere else, or being careful and quiet and good… Read More

For survivors of childhood abuse, there are both internal and external barriers to getting help (therapy, bodywork, medical care, etc.) with their healing process. Neglect and abuse cause invisible losses, skills and experiences that simply did not happen. For example, a bodily sense of safety from being tended and held with gentle hands. A deep… Read More

Some anniversaries are neutral. “Oh, that happened five years ago.” Some feel like an accomplishment. “Wow, I’ve had this job for three years already.” And then there are the ones that feel terrible. Trauma anniversaries might bring more abundant flashbacks and other PTSD symptoms. Anniversaries of loss might bring a resurgence of grief. We might… Read More

Your healing goals probably include feeling better more often and knowing what to do when you feel terrible. You may already have a handy list of friends, family, or professionals to call in a crisis and another list of music to play and soothing actions to take. Sometimes you are on your own, or have… Read More

The metaphor of healing as a journey permeates our language. “One step at a time.” “Find your path.” “I’ll get there someday.” The assumptions hidden in this metaphor invite painful comparisons and judgments, including: We want to travel from unsatisfactory Here to much improved There. Progress is visible and directed. Moving more slowly makes the… Read More

My Inner Nurturer knows I always deserve respect and love. She helps me trust my perceptions rather than taking a vote from the people around me. She replaces “should” with “could” every time I hear it. She is deeply, unhesitatingly compassionate about my pain. My Inner Critic has a lot to say on the subject… Read More