Boundaries, Full Self

When we feel threatened, we reflexively pull our essential self away from the surface, hiding it deep inside. If we grew up in an abusive home, our essence might remain locked away indefinitely, lacking a safe place to practice being visible. Pulled in for safety We hide for safety, and at the same time we… Read More

Self-confidence is not just about trusting our ability to accomplish tasks. When we lack self-confidence, we doubt that we deserve love, success, comfort, joy, happiness. At our core, we doubt that we deserve to exist. Kind attention When children receive kind, caring, responsive attention, it reinforces that they are intrinsically valuable and worthy of taking… Read More

When I check in with a new client about how their body feels about being on the table, they often report that they feel tense, guarded, wary. Their body is still gathering information about whether this new environment is safe, and they are not yet ready to trust my good intentions. For some clients, it… Read More

It is painfully easy to blame our own bodies for trauma we endure. Perhaps if we had looked or acted differently, the trauma would not have happened. Afterwards, we want the body to just get over it instead of needing a long healing process. We disconnect from our bodies, and then feel surprised and betrayed… Read More

Trauma interrupts and confuses our relationship with our bodies. To connect more directly with our bodies just as they are right now, we can bring more awareness to eating, hunger, and fullness. Soothing or stressful eating Babies eat for comfort as well as nourishment. So do growing children and adults. Eating is a fundamental sensory… Read More

Never take the last cookie. Avoid drama. Never tell people they are wrong. Wait for people to notice what you need. Smile at strangers. We have lots of rules about how to be nice, how to be liked. The details vary in each community, which can be surprising when you move to a new town…. Read More

Our limits are part of being an embodied human mammal. We need rest, food, drink, and comfort at regular intervals to stay in balance. We can ignore those needs for a while, but there is a mounting cost to our well-being the longer we set them aside. Paying attention to our limits, like our sensitivities,… Read More

Each infant is born with a full-body knowing that they are entitled to nourishment, shelter, rest, and loving contact. Each baby vigorously pursues their wants with all the resources at their disposal, crying, reaching out, and turning away when they have had enough. Their caretaker’s task is to provide for those needs. Unless they have… Read More

“Mama, look at me!” Around the world, children demand to be seen, acknowledged, and celebrated as they express their authentic selves. Over time, they internalize their parents’ warm regard and become their own compassionate witnesses. They continue to reach out to external witnesses as well. Safety: looking inward and outward With healthy socialization, children learn… Read More

“Name the action, criticize it, and tell them what to do with it.” The WomanStrength instructor makes this three-step model sound easy. “Your hand is on my shoulder. I don’t like it. Take it off.” Her voice is calm, matter-of-fact. One by one we practice around the circle, receiving our neighbor’s hand on our shoulder… Read More