Have you changed your name with joy as part of a marriage or gender transition? Have you changed it with determination to separate from an abusive family? Has it been changed by force as part of adoption or immigration to a new country? Have you had the stability of the same name your whole life?… Read More
Boundaries, Full Self
Within Reach of Your Comfort Zone
When young Halina arrives at a familiar playground, she immediately runs toward her favorite slide. When another family shows up with a large dog, the child runs back to her watching parent for reassurance. Her body moves smoothly between exploration and retreat, activation and settling. Secure home base Someone who has access to a secure… Read More
Inhabit Your Surface
When we feel threatened, we reflexively pull our essential self away from the surface, hiding it deep inside. If we grew up in an abusive home, our essence might remain locked away indefinitely, lacking a safe place to practice being visible. Pulled in for safety We hide for safety, and at the same time we… Read More
In Search of Self-Confidence
Self-confidence is not just about trusting our ability to accomplish tasks. When we lack self-confidence, we doubt that we deserve love, success, comfort, joy, happiness. At our core, we doubt that we deserve to exist. Kind attention When children receive kind, caring, responsive attention, it reinforces that they are intrinsically valuable and worthy of taking… Read More
Balance for Your Inner Guardian
When I check in with a new client about how their body feels about being on the table, they often report that they feel tense, guarded, wary. Their body is still gathering information about whether this new environment is safe, and they are not yet ready to trust my good intentions. For some clients, it… Read More
Your Body Is Your Ally
It is painfully easy to blame our own bodies for trauma we endure. Perhaps if we had looked or acted differently, the trauma would not have happened. Afterwards, we want the body to just get over it instead of needing a long healing process. We disconnect from our bodies, and then feel surprised and betrayed… Read More
Embody Hunger, Embody Fullness
Trauma interrupts and confuses our relationship with our bodies. To connect more directly with our bodies just as they are right now, we can bring more awareness to eating, hunger, and fullness. Soothing or stressful eating Babies eat for comfort as well as nourishment. So do growing children and adults. Eating is a fundamental sensory… Read More
The Perils of Nice
Never take the last cookie. Avoid drama. Never tell people they are wrong. Wait for people to notice what you need. Smile at strangers. We have lots of rules about how to be nice, how to be liked. The details vary in each community, which can be surprising when you move to a new town…. Read More
Cherish Your Limits
Our limits are part of being an embodied human mammal. We need rest, food, drink, and comfort at regular intervals to stay in balance. We can ignore those needs for a while, but there is a mounting cost to our well-being the longer we set them aside. Paying attention to our limits, like our sensitivities,… Read More
Healthy Entitlement: Discern Your Domain
Each infant is born with a full-body knowing that they are entitled to nourishment, shelter, rest, and loving contact. Each baby vigorously pursues their wants with all the resources at their disposal, crying, reaching out, and turning away when they have had enough. Their caretaker’s task is to provide for those needs. Unless they have… Read More