Article Archives – Sundown Healing Arts

2022
- March
  - Let Life Flow Forward
    Inhabit the moving present rather than the frozen past.
- February
  - Restore Your Kind Attention
    Denial buys time to gather resources and absorb information more gradually.
- January
  - Care for Hidden Ruptures
    Imagine if we collectively made it a high priority to help children and adults heal from attachment wounds.
2021
- December
  - Associate Yourself with Nature
    Contact with nature can steady your nervous system and counter a sense of isolation and unreality.
- November
  - Talk About Abusers
    Most people are complex mixtures of good and bad intentions, benign and harmful behaviors.
- October
  - Accessible for This Starfish
    When one person feels more welcome and safe, they can take more action and inspire others to action.
- September
  - Within Reach of Your Comfort Zone
    When we have access to a secure home base, we can explore and take risks more freely.
- August
  - Find Your Way to Rest
    Rest because it nourishes you and adds enjoyment to your life.
- July
  - Nestle Into Uncertainty
    When we allow uncertainty and hold our assumptions more lightly, we make room for change and hope.
- June
  - Inhabit Your Surface
    Experiment with working less hard for a while.
- May
  - A Harvest of Understanding
    With kind eyes, look back at this pandemic year.
- April
  - Respect Your Reservoir of Pain
    Most of us carry old pain from the twists and turns our lives have taken.
- March
  - Embodying Hope: Introduction
    We embody hope when we keep moving forward, one stubborn step after another, like walking through steady rain.
- February
  - Prefer Narratives with Hope, Updated
    Try a new narrative: “My perceptions and responses make sense. I am intrinsically good. I am doing my best with the resources and knowledge I have.”
- January
  - Within Sight of Relief, Pause
    Acknowledge losses and longings, and give yourself time to rest and recover.
2020
- December
  - The “Good Person” Badge
    Thanks to each of you for working so hard to be a good person.
- November
  - Kindness, Not Contempt
    In this time of isolation, simply acknowledging someone with kind eyes is a gift.
- October
  - Anchor Terror in Time
    Terror moves us to act in the present, shows us where kind attention is needed to heal our past, and directs us to prepare for the future.
- September
  - Rock the Boat About Racism
    White supremacy is a catastrophe for everyone. Gently gather your courage, step forward, and talk about racism.
- August
  - Wear a Mask to Belong
    Protect the community you already belong with.
- July
  - Lift the Anger Lid With Care
    Anger can fuel change toward more kindness, more truth, more respect, and more justice.
- June
  - Adapt to New Risks
    Allow yourself to be a beginner at handling this pandemic.
- May
  - Self-Care for Sticky Lungs
    With your hand as an anchor, your relaxed breathing provides movement to gradually stretch and release adhesions.
- April
  - Agency in a Time of Pandemic
    Recognize the quiet heroism of staying home.
- March
  - Loosen Inner Deadlock
    Inclusive solutions emerge from listening deeply to all our needs and fears.
- February
  - Mend What You Can Reach
    When we take small actions within our reach, we build sustainability, community, and hope.
- January
  - Let Go for More Sound
    As we restore our ease of movement, we restore our ability to be our complete selves out loud.
2019
- December
  - In Search of Self-Confidence
    Treat yourself as if you deserve to exist.
- November
  - Get to Know Your Guts
    Reconnect with your belly through kind touch and specific knowledge about the organs inside.
- October
  - Solid Support for Change
    When we have more inner and outer resources, it is easier to take risks and try something new.
- September
  - The Push/Pull of Touch
    When the need for touch has been met well enough, with kindness and safety, we accept the ongoing need as naturally as we accept the need to breathe.
- August
  - Good Enough for Mistakes
    We can use our skills and resources to recover from mistakes and integrate them into the flow of life.
- July
  - Consider Additional Truths
    The more we sense into our present environment and the people around us with caring, the less we impose our world view on others.
- June
  - Celebrate Small Steps
    Each of us can take time to soak up relief, hope, and ease when they arise.
- May
  - Intervene for a Better World
    As the nervous system heals over time, our window of tolerance widens for minor infractions, and we can intervene more calmly and skillfully for larger issues.
- April
  - Careful Conflict
    Learning to manage conflict with care is a lifetime project for each of us.
- March
  - Support a Friend in Crisis
    "I'm here to listen."
- February
  - Make Room for Grief
    Grief is as individual and as universal as a fingerprint.
- January
  - How to Leave Your Practitioner
    "Can we talk about what completing treatment and stopping would look like?"
2018
- December
  - Elements of Refuge
    Healing practitioners can provide a calm refuge for overwhelmed survivors by offering a stable container around logistics, emotions, and the relationship.
- November
  - When Help Means Rescue
    Helpers remove obstacles and add nourishment and support. They help us become more ourselves, rather than transforming us into someone else.
- October
  - When Help Means Danger
    When the first people to care for us also hurt us, of course it will be difficult to manage relationships with practitioners.
- September
  - Grow Away from Enmeshment
    As you repair your boundaries and sense of self, rather than feeling woven together with someone else, you will gradually feel more solid in yourself.
- August
  - The Right Distance from Family
    Whether we connect with our parents every day, once a year, or not at all, we can reduce the internal charge we carry toward them.
- July
  - Balance for Your Inner Guardian
    As your Inner Guardian becomes more integrated into the present, you can offer a more balanced, skillful response to present-time threats.
- June
  - Resonate With Loneliness
    Every time we turn toward our own experience with warmth, we strengthen our Inner Nurturer.
- May
  - Practice Kind Language
    When we practice non-ableist language, it gives us more room to be imperfect humans, internally and externally.
- April
  - Offer a Collaborative Story
    When we invite people to be on the same side with collaborative stories, we open the door to more connection in our lives.
- March
  - Depression: Natural Response to Trauma
    You are not broken. Your responses make sense. As you find ways to sit with inner terror and misery and loneliness for as long as they are there, they will gradually shift and make room for new feelings.
- February
  - Your Body Is Your Ally
    When you tend to your body with generous care, you practice feeling better and receiving kindness right now.
- January
  - Embody Hunger, Embody Fullness
    To connect more directly with our bodies just as they are right now, we can bring more awareness to eating, hunger, and fullness.
2017
- December
  - Add Ease to Anniversaries
    When we can be a kind witness for our hurting selves, we can disentangle painful feelings from the time of year that brings them up.
- November
  - How to Resist Enough
    Resisting oppression can be affirmative, creative, connected, nourishing.
- October
  - The Perils of Nice
    When we do not constrain ourselves to be nice, we can step into the power of showing up as our authentic selves kindly and creatively.
- September
  - Sit with Disappointment
    When we can sit with disappointment, we find our own balance between acceptance and efforts toward change.
- August
  - Look into the Present
    As we look at the world with more relaxation and clarity, we see more of the beauty and safety available to us.
- July
  - Seek Nourishing Feedback
    We thrive on positive feedback, with the occasional bit of corrective negative feedback thrown in.
- June
  - Find Calm: Practice Rest and Regulation
    Even if we missed out on learning how to be calm as babies, it is not too late for our nervous systems to learn about rest and regulation as adults.
- May
  - Find Calm: A Polyvagal Primer
    Stephen Porges' Polyvagal Theory explains our nervous system and helps us make sense of our behavior.
- April
  - Relieve Pressure: Replace Should with Could
    "Should" makes us look over our shoulder to see if we are good enough yet. "Could" invites us to look inside instead.
- March
  - Cherish Your Limits
    Paying attention to our limits helps us compassionately care for ourselves.
- February
  - Healthy Entitlement: Discern Your Domain
    We are entitled to complete autonomy over the insides and surfaces of our bodies.
- January
  - Counter the Feelings Police
    Emotions are meant to move. Giving them more space allows them to flow and change, peak and ebb.
2016
- December
  - Withstand Ongoing Trauma
    As you move through difficult, triggering events in the present, bring along all the healing tools you have learned over time.
- November
  - Presence After Trauma: Introduction
    Becoming present is an ongoing exploration of willingness to accept what is, and willingness to allow it to change.
- October
  - Protect Your Irritated Nervous System
    When the nervous system is chronically irritated, it transmits sensations more strongly and is more likely to interpret strong sensations as pain.
- September
  - Prefer Narratives with Hope
    Try a new narrative: “My perceptions and responses make sense. I am intrinsically good. I am doing my best with the resources and knowledge I have.”
- August
  - Trust Yourself Despite Everyday Gaslighting
    Imagine a kind friend saying, "I believe you. It’s not you. You’re doing all the right things."
- July
  - When I Started
    I stand with fellow victims and survivors and tell you that you do not need fixing.
- June
  - The Puzzle Box of Shame
    Shame heals in many small steps.
- May
  - Heal Around the Edges
    Trauma heals at the borders between comfortable and uncomfortable.
- April
  - The Betrayal of Not Being Heard
    We all deserve to have our distress heard and heeded.
- March
  - Not Alone with Your ACEs
    A large majority of people have had Adverse Childhood Experiences, which directly affect our health.
- February
  - Worthy of Protection
    We all deserve protection for our needy, vulnerable places as well as recognition of our strengths.
- January
  - Weave Your Body Whole
    Kabbalah helps us weave the bits of ourselves back together.
2015
- December
  - The Sacred Work of Showing Up
    Emotional labor is the detail work of caring, of noticing, of paying attention.
- November
  - Patience with Long Endings
    When we sit patiently with uncertainty, we make room for a new pattern to emerge.
- October
  - Humans Allowed Full Body
    Claim your inner terrain for yourself - it is your birthright.
- September
  - Take a Break from Healing
    You do not have to be perfect to be treated with respect.
- August
  - Name Memories Without Words
    Flashbacks to preverbal memories are intense, all-consuming, boundaryless.
- July
  - The Heartbreak of “Why?”
    Other people's cruelty is not our fault.
- June
  - Serenity Through Your Locus of Control
    One of the central tasks of healing is to reassign fault and power.
- May
  - Integration: Live into Both/And
    There is deep healing when we invite a younger part closer and say, "You matter. Your experience matters. Your truth matters."
- April
  - Check In With Your Chakras
    The chakra system helps us focus on one kind of healing at a time, and notice what is going well in addition to what is difficult.
- March
  - Choose an Easier Road
    The first step toward an easier road might be permission to make choices that lessen pain.
- February
  - Enjoy Enthusiastic Consent
    Consent is an unforced moment-to-moment agreement to participate in a specific activity.
- January
  - Explore Uncurled Posture
    The sensation might be, "Oh, I didn't realize I was holding there!" as a shoulder drops, or "I have more room than I thought," as a hip moves back.
2014
- December
  - The Tyranny of Normal
    Each body is normal in relation to itself, despite the myths we persist in believing against all evidence.
- November
  - All Done! Tools for Rapid Change
    When we allow all our conflicting feelings to be present, drop what isn't ours, and imagine the problem is already solved, we can emerge into new terrain.
- October
  - Triggered! Now What?
    Suddenly we are defiantly thirteen, or playfully four, or speechlessly afraid when we would prefer to be competent adults.
- September
  - Decipher the Silent Treatment
    In the face of non-response, we can choose to inquire, wait, or write off the interaction.
- August
  - Stand in Your Story
    It is healthy to value your own viewpoint, no matter how personal and emotional.
- July
  - Rest at Sleep’s Threshold
    Whether you sleep or not, night can be a time for rest, contemplation, and listening inside.
- June
  - Legs Dance, Kick, Run
    Our legs are on our sides, like our arms, and start above the hip crease.
- May
  - Deflect the Tone Argument
    There is no tone calm enough to express uncomfortable truths to someone with the power to refuse to hear.
- April
  - Arms Relate to the World
    Our arms are structured to fluidly express our physical boundaries.
- March
  - Sense Your Spine’s Support
    When we trust our structure, our whole body relaxes, expands, and breathes more easily.
- February
  - Exit Emergency Mode
    What if this problem is already solved?
- January
  - Unhook from Projection
    When we stop fighting our shadows, we see ourselves and the rest of the world.
2013
- December
  - Let Your Jaw Speak
    Physical movement in your avenue of expression creates sound. Immobility is silent.
- November
  - Relax For Your Life
    Relaxation is surrender, not to someone else, but to your present truth.
- October
  - Listen to Defensiveness
    When we acknowledge defensiveness, we can open into curiosity and maintain connections with people around us.
- September
  - Interrupt Bullying
    Change in a victim cannot fix a perpetrator's problem. We all have vulnerabilities, and we deserve to be treated with kindness around them.
- August
  - Truth Across Lines of Authority
    We live in a web of privilege and marginalization that affects how we express boundaries.
- July
  - Effects of Sexual Assault
    Survivors face denial, hostility, and pressure to consider themselves less important than the perpetrator.
- June
  - Achieve Approval
    This person, this being, is filled with radiant love, approval, and pleasure at your very existence.
- May
  - Sensitivity Survival Tips
    Sensitivities challenge us to assert our body's needs rather than go along with the crowd.
- April
  - The Power of Gentle
    We instinctively approach a frightened animal with slow, gentle movements and a soft voice. Traumatized humans need the same gentle approach.
- March
  - Reasons to Stay
    If you know someone in an abusive situation, express your trust in their essential strength and capacity to find their way.
- February
  - Loving Anger
    Listen inside, explore options, and take self-protective action with empathy for others.
- January
  - Navigate Change: Mind the Gap
    When we move mindfully through small and large gaps, we create space in our lives for healing.
2012
- December
  - Heritage of Resilience
    Resilience repeats across generations as survivors teach their strengths through stories and behavior.
- November
  - Surrender Without Shame
    Your painfully remembered surrender was a successful strategy to survive into this present moment.
- October
  - How to Irritate Your Nervous System
    Seeking irritation might be easier and more informative than seeking calm.
- September
  - Discover Your Core Commitments
    What do you reach toward no matter how many obstacles stand in your way?
- August
  - Stuck in a Labyrinth
    Sometimes there is no direct path to a goal, and turning away can help you move forward in unexpected ways.
- July
  - Change the Rules, Inhabit Your Pelvis
    Bring awareness to the bony structure of your pelvis.
- June
  - Repair Your Reality After Gaslighting
    Gaslighting teaches you to doubt your perceptions of reality. To repair your self-trust, tune in to your internal signals with interested curiosity.
- May
  - Permission to Stop Beating Yourself Up
    Here is your Official Permission to believe you are good enough for self-compassion right now.
- April
  - Connect with Your Complex Voice
    Humming can heal the isolation of trauma.
- March
  - Safety in Your Bones
    Safety is an internal experience, a skill to be learned and a choice to be made.
- February
  - Apologies: Good, Bad, and Abusive
    Carefully crafted apologies can open the door to healing, or, with different intent, open the door to continued abuse.
- January
  - Decision-Free Zone
    Listen for what is true for you with a clear boundary that action is off the table.
2011
- December
  - First-Aid for Desperate Moments
    These phrases provide first-aid assistance when you need to feel better right now.
- November
  - Allow Self-Forgiveness
    Self-forgiveness is giving up all hope of being a different person.
- October
  - Spiritual Abuse: Take Back Your Faith
    To heal from spiritual abuse, look inside for what you know for sure.
- September
  - Addiction as Emotion Management
    As you learn new techniques to manage your emotions, you will no longer need to avoid emotional and physical pain through addiction.
- August
  - Frozen! Thaw from Surrender
    When you give yourself full permission to feel helpless and frozen, it paradoxically creates space for healing and effective action.
- July
  - Many Voices, All Valid
    Greet all parts of yourself with compassion to feel the validation you seek.
- June
  - Create: Walk into Fog
    When you create, you are making your way across an unknown foggy landscape one decision at a time.
- May
  - Deepen Your Roots, Stretch Your Branches
    Grow into a shape defined by your history and desires, like a tree becoming more intricately itself every year.
- April
  - “Trust Me!” and Other Red Flags
    When you pay attention to red flags, you claim your power to choose, help your self-trust heal, and make room in your life for people who treat you with respect.
- March
  - Step Away from Double Binds
    How to identify and respond effectively to contradictory demands.
- February
  - Remember at Your Own Pace
    Trauma is overwhelming, but healing doesn't have to be.
- January
  - 100 Percent On Your Own Side
    Your Inner Nurturer knows you're doing it right.
2010
- December
  - Demand Respect, Not Victim-Blaming
    You are already enough. No one deserves abuse for any reason.
- November
  - Claim Your Space, Breathe into Your Back
    Shallow chest breathing takes up as little space as possible. Deeper belly breathing pushes out into the world. Back breathing claims the space that is already yours.
- October
  - Just-Right Visibility
    Explore your skills at both hiding and shining.
- September
  - Anxiety: Your Relaxation Coach
    Interrupt anxiety with acceptance and understand its role in your body.
- August
  - The Joy of Maintenance
    Enjoy maintenance tasks as affirmations of presence.
- July
  - Not Again! Tame Your Fiercest Patterns
    When your recurring pattern has you in its claws, hold still and move in.
- June
  - Say Yes to Your Boundaries
    Boundaries are already part of us, a flexible container for our sensations, emotions, and preferences, separating "me" from "not-me".
- May
  - Befriend Your Pain
    To reduce suffering, relate to pain as a friend bearing a message rather than an enemy to be feared.
- April
  - A Boundary-Nourishing Healer Search
    Finding providers of caring touch and coming to trust them can be a journey in itself.
  - Meditation: Safe Space for Noticing
    Meditation is simpler and more welcoming than you might think.
- March
  - Needs Amnesty Day
    Tired of figuring out which needs are allowed? Declare a Needs Amnesty Day and welcome them all.
- February
  - Flashbacks: Experience Distress in Safety
    Flashbacks help you integrate traumatic memories. Learn how to recognize and respond to them as part of your healing.
- January
  - Inner Child Lost -n- Found
    If you often find yourself saying "I've tried everything!" or "Don't leave me!" or "See me!", visit the Inner Child Lost -n- Found for relief.
2009
- December
  - Compassion for the Drama Triangle
    The Drama Triangle model, applied with compassion, can help you change recurring conflicts.
- November
  - Grieve Neglectful Mothering
    Many clients have brought in their pain over neglectful or abusive mothering. May you have many reparative experiences!
- October
  - Haunted by Shame? Change Your Committee!
    Imagine living your life with a fully supportive, encouraging, and approving internal committee.
- September
  - Invite Your Longing to Tea
    What can you learn from sitting with longing rather than immediately fulfilling or suppressing it?
- August
  - Who Owns That Anger?
    While anger can do damage when held in or unleashed on another, it can also lead to clarity and strength when handled with care.
- July
  - Gain Awareness of Dissociation
    We all dissociate or lose contact with our bodies at times. How to notice and what to do about it.
- June
  - Sensitivities: Your Self-Care Guide
    Sensitivities can be a valuable guide for moving toward your ideal environment.
- May
  - Behind the Curtain of Obsessive Thoughts
    How to quiet those painful repeating trains of thought and see what is behind them.
- April
  - Tell a Story about Denial
    The positive aspects of denial, and a writing exercise to reduce some of its frustrations.
- March
  - Ups and Downs of Healing from Trauma
    What to expect during the process of healing from trauma and some tips to get through the hard parts.
- February
  - Accept Suicidal Feelings
    Links between trauma and suicidal feelings and some practical suggestions for yourself or someone who confides in you.
- January
  - Disclose Pain, Find Support
    Describe the support you want, and increase the odds of receiving it.
2008
- December
  - Calm Your Inner Critic
    You may have already noticed that arguing with your Inner Critic only leads to louder criticism, possibly about how self-critical you are.
- November
  - Choose Your Traditions
    Notice your expectations and desires around the winter holidays.
- October
  - The Gift of Resistance
    Resistance carries the gift of information from our deeper selves.
- September
  - Emotional Abuse: You Deserve Better
    Emotional abuse can be as obvious as name-calling and raging, or it can be so subtle you spend days wondering why you feel so bad.
2007
- July
  - Add Peace to Your Life
    How to make peace a priority now, in the midst of struggle.
- May
  - Kuan Yin, Goddess of Compassion
    My healing practice is dedicated to Kuan Yin. All those who have suffered trauma need compassion both from within and from others.

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