Emotions

Terror is part of the body’s basic survival mechanisms. It says, “I sense something that threatens my life, and I want to live!” As unpleasant as it feels, terror is not an enemy in itself. It is a blaring alarm. There are so many reasons to feel terror these days. World-wide pandemic. Wildfires. Police murdering… Read More

When you get angry, does an internal lid clamp down, perhaps before you even notice you are angry? Or does your anger spill out in a way that feels overwhelming, making you wish for a lid? You may have absorbed beliefs early on that your anger was bad, or that anger is always abusive, or that… Read More

Grief is emotional pain in response to a loss. “Something is missing!” It can be knife-sharp and overwhelming, or a dull ongoing ache. Unlike sadness, which can be about something happening to someone else, grief is visceral, personal, immediate. It can include heartbreak, bitter disappointment, and rage at the unfairness of loss. Wail aloud Grief… Read More

In her book Your Resonant Self, Sarah Peyton makes the extraordinary assertion that some people’s default inner voice gives them ongoing emotional warmth. For those of us who did not have emotionally warm parents in the past, nor an emotionally warm partner in the present, it would be wonderful to be able to access emotional… Read More

A heavy reluctance to get up in the morning. A weight presses down all day, makes it hard to move, squeezes the joy out of everything. Voices inside say, “Worthless. Shameful. Failure.” Tears, sadness, grief, despair. Emptiness. Hopelessness. A common narrative says that depression is caused by a malfunction of the body and brain, leading… Read More

The hardware store is out of the item we need. A friend did not show up when they said they would. The job went to someone else. The election went to the other candidate. Disappointments come in all shapes and sizes. How we handle them depends on our expectations, our inner resources and resilience at… Read More

When my friend tells me about her cancer diagnosis, I immediately ask what I can do to help. I know about Susan Silk’s ring theory for crises. You draw a bunch of concentric circles with the person in crisis at the center, people closest to them in the next ring, and less close people in… Read More