Self-Trust

Our commitments are both privately entwined with our core values and publicly announced by our relationships and actions. The pledges we make to others and ourselves form a large part of our identity. Even though we think of commitments as fixed, all but the deepest commitments can change in response to changing circumstances. Commitments vary… Read More

In the movie Gaslight, Gregory sets out to convince his wife Paula that she is insane. He secretly removes items from their home and tells her she did it. He isolates her from others. He uses her growing distress to “prove” she is unstable. When she notices the gas lights in their home dim and… Read More

Take a moment to notice your current experience. How do you feel? What thoughts are running through your mind? What sensations does your body report? Many of us jump directly to evaluation and problem-solving in response to our current experience. We may not be aware of other options, or we may believe constant self-improvement is… Read More

Too many of us believe we can’t sing, or can’t sing well enough, or at least need to improve our voices in some way. Whether singing or speaking, we manipulate our voices to sound softer, stronger, clearer, calmer, or otherwise more “socially acceptable” than our unimpeded voices. In addition to controlling how we sound, we… Read More

We all need validation. If everyone received the full acceptance and acknowledgment we require, I imagine the world would fill with an immense, sudden, satisfied stillness. While growing up, too many of us were surrounded by invalidation instead. When conflicts arose, we learned to argue, defend, and prove our point, or perhaps yield quickly to… Read More

Have you noticed the gauntlet a need has to pass through before it can be internally acknowledged, much less spoken aloud? We often require our needs to be: Reasonably sized Age-appropriate Achievable Approved by “Them”, also known as the internal committee Bearable – some needs trigger old pain Consistent with other needs and beliefs Justified… Read More

When you feel longing for something, do you take immediate action? We often move reflexively either to fulfill a longing or to suppress it, rarely taking time to sit with the longing itself. Are you willing to connect to your feeling of longing? Not the subject, not the thing longed for, but the feeling itself…. Read More

My friend Dinh raises many varieties of small, colorful killifish. He carefully adjusts the conditions in each aquarium to meet the needs of its inhabitants, and provides the food each fish likes best. After years of observing and learning about killifish, he can identify a fish’s species, age, and general health at a glance. At… Read More