Whether our pain is physical or emotional, chronic or acute, we encounter suspicion that we did something to deserve it or have not done enough to fix it, and if we just corrected our course the pain would disappear. Pain signals a problem Pain is the brain’s way of signaling a problem. The problem could… Read More
Articles
Embodying Hope: Introduction
Embodying Hope: Living in Difficult Times with a Difficult Past offers you respite and replenishment, support and affirmation in these hard times. You did all this personal healing work so you could have a happier life, and now look! We have ongoing white supremacy and climate change, manifesting as destructive leaders, militarized police, escalating wildfires,… Read More
Prefer Narratives with Hope, Updated
In her presentation for Write/Speak/Code 2016, Naomi Ceder (@naomiceder) describes how our narrative about a situation controls the options we have. When she was young, the narrative she saw about trans people was one of sickness, wrongness, and absence of hope. The only way to transition was to renounce contact with all current family and… Read More
Within Sight of Relief, Pause
Have you noticed people driving fast out there? Maybe you are one of those fast drivers, in a hurry to get to your destination and away from where you came from. It seems like everyone is vibrating with stress and the need to get out and away. Now that we are past the solstice, longer… Read More
The “Good Person” Badge
Thanks to each of you for pausing for a moment, putting down your struggle, taking a breath, and hearing that you are okay just as you are right now. Thanks to each of you who leaves behind the numbing blanket of denial to explore your individual history of abuse and trauma. Thank you for stepping… Read More
Kindness, Not Contempt
Contempt is regarding something or someone as inferior, vile, or worthless. Reserve this potent weapon for extreme cases of causing harm for selfish ends. Contempt hurts Whether hidden or overt, contempt hurts. We are social beings who care about the approval of people around us. Contempt from anyone erodes our sense of worthiness. Contempt from… Read More
Anchor Terror in Time
Terror is part of the body’s basic survival mechanisms. It says, “I sense something that threatens my life, and I want to live!” As unpleasant as it feels, terror is not an enemy in itself. It is a blaring alarm. There are so many reasons to feel terror these days. World-wide pandemic. Wildfires. Police murdering… Read More
Rock the Boat About Racism
This article discusses racism and white supremacy as seen in the US, and is applicable in the rest of the white-dominated world as well. Notice your inner responses as you read. Do you feel numb and bored? Do you feel angry and defensive? Do you feel relief because someone is naming your experience? When you… Read More
Wear a Mask to Belong
Many survivors of childhood abuse and neglect have an ongoing ache to belong, an unassuaged longing for the warmth of secure attachment. We develop strategies both to hide our vulnerable hearts and to reach out for connection. We hide our core self to be acceptable and we expose our rawness to be visible. Belong right… Read More
Lift the Anger Lid With Care
When you get angry, does an internal lid clamp down, perhaps before you even notice you are angry? Or does your anger spill out in a way that feels overwhelming, making you wish for a lid? You may have absorbed beliefs early on that your anger was bad, or that anger is always abusive, or that… Read More