After trauma is over, “It ended!” is a powerful healing tool to convince the body that the emergency is over. What happens when the trauma, or similar threats, are ongoing? Fearing a boss or leader who resembles the unpredictable, vindictive, bullying, sexually abusive head of household from childhood. Grieving the latest person pulled over and… Read More
Articles
Open to Medical Care
Trauma often comes with emotional betrayal, either when someone who should have protected us hurts us instead, or when we do not receive the care we need afterwards. After traumatic betrayal, we naturally become suspicious and reactive to apparent caring. Small steps toward care As we heal, we become more able to separate past from… Read More
Reach for Rainbow Vision
Black and white thinking is a hallmark of being in survival mode. When our nervous system is on high alert, we scan our environment for threats and for help, quickly classifying everything we see. Either something is all bad, or all good. Each person is abusive, or safe. Over time, we learn about shades of… Read More
Let Life Flow Forward
Unprocessed trauma stays frozen inside us in fragments of image, sensation, emotion, and movement. The fragments might pop up as if they are happening now, and we might also experience the freeze itself as immobile depression or as an unending emergency. One task of healing is to weave the fragments into a narrative. “First this… Read More
Restore Your Kind Attention
When new information is unpalatable, either because we recognize and dislike it, or because we have no idea how to respond to it, our first reaction tends to be denial. “Nope, didn’t see that, hear that, experience that.” Denial buys time to gather resources and absorb information more gradually. It is not meant to be… Read More
Care for Hidden Ruptures
Have you changed your name with joy as part of a marriage or gender transition? Have you changed it with determination to separate from an abusive family? Has it been changed by force as part of adoption or immigration to a new country? Have you had the stability of the same name your whole life?… Read More
Associate Yourself with Nature
One of the main effects of trauma is dissociation: disconnection from the body and the present moment. Trauma healing involves slow, patient reconnection with our bodies, our environment, and other people. Those are all part of nature. Survival skill Dissociation allows us to survive when our experiences and emotions are too overwhelming to tolerate. It… Read More
Talk About Abusers
Some Portland intersections have painted green “bike boxes” on the pavement to allow bicyclists to wait for the light in front of cars and get through the intersection ahead of right-turning drivers. They help prevent “I just didn’t see them!” right-hook collisions between cars and bikes. When I am out on my bike, I often… Read More
Accessible for This Starfish
A person walking on a beach notices many stranded starfish. She sees someone bending to toss starfish back in the ocean one at a time and says, “Throwing back a few won’t make any difference.” As the person throws another starfish into the water, they say, “It makes a difference to this one!” – brief… Read More
Within Reach of Your Comfort Zone
When young Halina arrives at a familiar playground, she immediately runs toward her favorite slide. When another family shows up with a large dog, the child runs back to her watching parent for reassurance. Her body moves smoothly between exploration and retreat, activation and settling. Secure home base Someone who has access to a secure… Read More