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Sundown Healing Arts

Intuitive, compassionate bodywork for trauma

Articles

Topic: Find Support

When Help Means Rescue

While survivors of childhood abuse are often wary of receiving help, we also long for rescue. Dreams of rescue Children growing up in abusive or neglectful homes dream of their “real” parents sweeping in and scooping them up, or running away and finding a better home somewhere else, or being careful and quiet and good… Read More

November 1, 2018 sonia

Topic: Find Support

When Help Means Danger

For survivors of childhood abuse, there are both internal and external barriers to getting help (therapy, bodywork, medical care, etc.) with their healing process. Neglect and abuse cause invisible losses, skills and experiences that simply did not happen. For example, a bodily sense of safety from being tended and held with gentle hands. A deep… Read More

October 1, 2018 sonia

Topic: Relating

Grow Away from Enmeshment

In an emotionally enmeshed relationship, there are two people, but only one point of view. All kinds of relationships can be enmeshed: parent and child, siblings, a romantic couple, close friends, coworkers, etc. Enmeshment is different from interdependence, where two people support and care about each other, but still maintain separate selves. Usually there is… Read More

September 1, 2018 sonia

Topic: Relating

The Right Distance from Family

Most parents have the deep instinct to protect small vulnerable beings, especially their own children. Some parents don’t. Some parents are too overwhelmed, unskilled, or caught up in their own point of view to notice when they are causing pain in someone else. Some parents enjoy causing pain. Many people say we “should” remain connected… Read More

August 1, 2018 sonia

Topic: Boundaries, Full Self

Balance for Your Inner Guardian

When I check in with a new client about how their body feels about being on the table, they often report that they feel tense, guarded, wary. Their body is still gathering information about whether this new environment is safe, and they are not yet ready to trust my good intentions. For some clients, it… Read More

July 1, 2018 sonia

Topic: Emotions

Resonate With Loneliness

In her book Your Resonant Self, Sarah Peyton makes the extraordinary assertion that some people’s default inner voice gives them ongoing emotional warmth. For those of us who did not have emotionally warm parents in the past, nor an emotionally warm partner in the present, it would be wonderful to be able to access emotional… Read More

June 1, 2018 sonia

Topic: Wider Narratives

Practice Kind Language

Content Note: Ableist language used as negative examples. As we walked along, my friend tripped over a raised bit of sidewalk. “Pick up your feet!” she scolded herself. I could imagine her four-year-old self being dragged by the hand as her mother scolded her in exactly those words a half-century earlier. Oppression by default We… Read More

May 1, 2018 sonia

Topic: Wider Narratives

Offer a Collaborative Story

Jacinta realized she was angry about not being heard. She said to her friend Reya, “I’m mad about our translation project. I still think this idiom isn’t quite right.” Reya said flatly, “I disagree.” Jacinta took a deep breath and tried again. “I really appreciate that you did this translation. Your technical Spanish is much… Read More

April 1, 2018 sonia

Topic: Emotions

Depression: Natural Response to Trauma

A heavy reluctance to get up in the morning. A weight presses down all day, makes it hard to move, squeezes the joy out of everything. Voices inside say, “Worthless. Shameful. Failure.” Tears, sadness, grief, despair. Emptiness. Hopelessness. A common narrative says that depression is caused by a malfunction of the body and brain, leading… Read More

March 1, 2018 sonia

Topic: Boundaries, Full Self

Your Body Is Your Ally

It is painfully easy to blame our own bodies for trauma we endure. Perhaps if we had looked or acted differently, the trauma would not have happened. Afterwards, we want the body to just get over it instead of needing a long healing process. We disconnect from our bodies, and then feel surprised and betrayed… Read More

February 1, 2018 sonia

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This practice is closed. Thank you to all the clients who have come in over the years. I appreciate your courage and trust. Click here for practitioner referral list. I am returning to my previous career of computer programming, and my previous home of Oakland, CA.

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